I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
