We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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