Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
barbara walters just said penis...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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