i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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