i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my being single is dangerous.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
