ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
