why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The air taste purple.
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