Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
love makes seman taste better
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
