I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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