I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
