You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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