Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
