i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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