did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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