Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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