Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean