Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

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  (513): Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school? http://tfl.nu/0udh
  Replies (357) Good night (906) Bad night (8067)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

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  (715): I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/vijq
  Replies (7) Good night (860) Bad night (3942)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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  (248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe
  Replies (13) Good night (5213) Bad night (785)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club

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  (815): u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club http://tfl.nu/2dw9
  Replies (12) Good night (2605) Bad night (1112)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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  (416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb
  Replies (8) Good night (2158) Bad night (921)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.

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  (+61): I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/00sg
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (699)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

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  (215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq
  Replies (11) Good night (2402) Bad night (737)
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  (607): View more from New York

  You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.

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  (607): You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were. http://tfl.nu/pdic
  Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (476)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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  (336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (495)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.

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  (778): I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack. http://tfl.nu/1g01
  Replies (10) Good night (510) Bad night (747)
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  (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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  (714): She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick (1-714): Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/q4sd
  Replies (3) Good night (1554) Bad night (406)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.

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  (651): I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas. http://tfl.nu/rih0
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (263)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...

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  (803): sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job... http://tfl.nu/rvys
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (262)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty

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  (386): I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty http://tfl.nu/i6ce
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (259)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.

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  (630): If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/shu6
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (236)

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