You're so nebulous sometimes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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