dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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