You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
