Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
