p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
