playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
