at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
