I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
