Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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