Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
