i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
