Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
