If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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