They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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