I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
