She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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