Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I intend to get homeless drunk
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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