so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
