So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
