i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
