remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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