i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i believe in u and ur pee
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
