I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
