I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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