TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
