guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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