Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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