using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
