I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
