Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
