So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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