Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
