maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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