nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches