I puked a lego.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking