More tranny stories later!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?