Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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  (312): She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her http://tfl.nu/ua6n
  Replies (13) Good night (654) Bad night (5482) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

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  (904): 5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal. http://tfl.nu/ja8n
  Replies (25) Good night (2902) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (7974) Bad night (1529)
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  (213): View more from California

  Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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  (213): Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans. http://tfl.nu/11hu
  Replies (14) Good night (5966) Bad night (1571) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The Swedes wanted a tensome.

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  (832): The Swedes wanted a tensome. http://tfl.nu/8c8i
  Replies (19) Good night (5367) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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  (516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1997) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.

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  (416): i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino. http://tfl.nu/gey0
  Replies (3) Good night (1415) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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  (504): This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point. http://tfl.nu/a4gy
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (2632) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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  (610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14
  Replies (18) Good night (3774) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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  (315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4
  Replies (20) Good night (5455) Bad night (1157)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

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  (617): thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance http://tfl.nu/zdkv
  Replies (10) Good night (2156) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  What goes on in that head of yours?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Gay sex, for the most part. Why?

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  (425): What goes on in that head of yours? (206): Gay sex, for the most part. Why? http://tfl.nu/64li
  Replies (7) Good night (2117) Bad night (645)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"

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  (440): As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today" http://tfl.nu/8gjm
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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  (813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

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  (209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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