thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it