So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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