well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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