I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
