First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We left the knife in your bed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
