your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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