Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
