guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
