the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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