I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
