you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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