You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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