I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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