either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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