i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
